Linda

Today, Zeek had his morning lesson with Linda. It was wonderful, as it always is. I love seeing her and talking with her. Zeek did really well, again. She taught him some things about moving a horses feet individually. It was good stuff.

She also talked with me and gave me some advice and tips on round penning with Gwin. She used PJ to show me some things, and then at the end of Zeek's lesson, she used PJ to have me work on yielding his front and back with just my eyes. She also taught me about softening my handling on foot, why it works, and how to do it. I was AMAZED at what I saw when I tried it with PJ. It gave me more hope that I'm not CRAZY thinking that Gwin and I can work out this respect thing without driving and kicking and fighting all the way.

I'm looking forward to some more time with her soon. It's kind of cold and yucky today. And after two visits yesterday, I thought I'd give Gwin and I both a little rest today. :)

Two in One

This morning my Aunt Judy called me on her way to work, again. This has become one of my favorite changes/additions to my mornings since I got Gwin. It's so good to have someone to share this with, and family to top it off, who knows how I feel and has so much experience with what I'm going through. It's also great to hear her advice and ask her all my questions. :)

After Zeek and I finished with school we went to see Gwin. Zeek read and did some copywriting while I did some ground work in the pen. We're still working on her turning in toward me when I stop her. I can't wait to pick Linda's brain about this tomorrow when we meet her for Zeek's lesson.

Things went well with Gwin. She got lots of good exercise, however, I didn't feel like she turned in willingly at all. It was much cooler outside than it was yesterday for our round pen work. Not sure if that worked for or against me.

After that Zeek and I returned home. I decided around 4:30p I was going to go back out for a trail ride. Sari stayed with Zeek, who went downstairs to watch a movie with his dinner. Greg would be home within the hour.

I took Gwin out back of Gwen's place first. She went well. Then I tried to take her across the street. She tried to kill us both a couple of times, backing into nowhere when I asked her to move her feet forward. She did NOT want to get out on those trails again. I used some persistence, and continued to ask anyway. She would agree to go, and then just as we'd be on top of something dangerous on either side, she would balk and then back into the danger just enough to freak me out. I caught on to this quickly and stopped relenting to her stupidity. I dared her to walk us into the ravine, off the edge of the hill, down the rocky slope, into a tree, etc... And she pushed her back hoof right to the edge, daring be back each time.

I received this as disrespectful nonsense, and decided to do what everyone has encouraged from the start. I asked her to move with a slight squeeze of my legs. When she didn't I asked her with a light tap of my boots to her sides. When she didn't, I counted two taps followed by one good kick in the side. It killed me to do it. I know I can't hurt her, but it isn't the physical things I've been protecting between us. It's the heart of our connection. I hated to have sunk to this.

But by the third time she balked after this tactic, she was agreeing to walk forward by gentle tap number two, and we were on our way.

She and I went farther on the trail than we'd ever gone alone together. Across the street and to the most beautiful open hills. I was proud of her. It was a great ride.

Erika & Me

This morning Erika and I went for a walk with Apple. When we returned she asked if we could go see Gwin. I was glad to get a little more time away with her alone. And I was glad to see my baby and try some of the ground work stuff I've been learning from my Clinton Anderson DVDs from Aunt Judy.

It was SO hot! In the 80s. 

I worked Gwin without a lead in the round pen with Erika and me in the center. I wanted to work on teaching Gwin to turn in and face me when I stop her movement. She (and I) had been struggling with this easy thing, and I had a new plan up my sleeve (from Clinton, of course). AND IT WORKED!

I made her move her feet, asked her to stop and turn in... when she didn't turn in (which I KNOW she knows how to do from her past) I would drive her back around some more. Then ask and drive at her refusal to turn in. We did this for about 20 minutes, and right about the time my sweaty body was ready to collapse in a pile, she DID IT! I let her (and myself) rest for as long as she would keep her feet still. Remarkably, my horse, who never stands still unless she's eating or stuck somewhere, stood for about FIVE minutes on her own. When she began to move I drove her in the opposite direction.

I feared that this would take another 20 minutes to establish on a new side, but she surprised me and moved in to face me IMMEDIATELY when I asked her to stop the very first time!!! SO proud. And pleased as punch to have actually gotten somewhere with her today. 

I'm so grateful to have a friend who takes an interest in my favorite thing, even though she certainly doesn't have to, and I'm pretty sure she's really not all that into horses herself. :) It means so much to me to have someone from my life to share this with sometimes. 
   

Memorial Gathering

This afternoon I took a bunch of our good friends/weekend house guests out to see Gwin. The kids were all excited to ride!

They met my baby girl, brushed her, learned some fun facts and cautions...

Then they each took turns ridding her around in the pen.

Most of the time I led Gwin, but at the end of almost everyones' rides they would take a short

lesson in reigning and give it a shot on their own for a couple of minutes.

I love to see the way that Gwin responds to each new person she meets and rides. Especially when I've known these kids for so long and I know their individual personalities myself.

It was a fun afternoon. The mama's were glad their babies got to ride, some of them for the first time ever. 

Cedar, Afton, Grace, Eli and Maggie can't stop talking about when they will return for their second lesson with Gwin. ;)

riding lesson

This morning Zeek had riding lessons at Linda's. He chose to ride Julio. I have no idea how his session went because I was too busy playing. 

I spent some good time with Bit Me. He recognized my voice when I walked up the isle. He came to the gate and, for the first time, put his whole face and neck over the rail for me. I was so happy. I rubbed him with very little introduction. I gave him a treat, and then he let me brush his face, neck, and even his sides with a broom brush. 

I noticed that his empty eye socket was full of dirt and shedding hair. I asked with my hands and he let me rub it out for him. It took a long time. It was also kind of creepy at first. Putting my fingers inside the crater that once held his eyeball. It really helped me understand how people can work in nursing homes and do things that are uncomfortable out of love for others. It just so happens that I lack that gift, with people anyway. I could completely work through my queasiness for my love of Bit Me. :) 

Earlier, I had shared with Linda that I have been trying to work on getting on Gwin bareback, from the ground with no mount. Just as I was visiting with Bid Me, 19 year old Kendra (the notorious star horseman of the barn) came walking around the corner. She asked me if I wanted her to teach me how to mount bareback from the ground, using her boy, Buddy. 

She showed me how she does it, and then she took Buddy into the ring for me to practice on. She was so sweet and encouraging. I worked up about three of four body slams, and was pretty sure I did not have the strength to pull it off. It was much harder than I imagined it would be. But much to my surprise I was able to do it after all. TWICE! 

It was a great morning all around. Zeek did an awesome job walking and grooming Julio with no reminders or coaxing. He also enjoyed the three baby kittens in the barn. 

Good morning. 

Trailin'

Oh sweet sweet Tuesday. Gwen called at 5. Greg came home from work at 5:22. Me and my boots walked out the door at 5:35. Gwen and Carrie were all saddled and ready to roll when I arrived. I got Gwin ready while they helped a guy take some "fertilizer" for his garden. Then we headed off across the street.

It was beautiful. Warm with a breeze. Gwin was SO good. She did everything I asked her to. I felt like we were really starting to ride as partners.

We stayed behind the girls most of the way. I worked on training Gwin that when Monty eats grass that doesn't mean she eats grass too. And when Angel's mom asks her to trot, that doesn't mean Gwin trots too. :)

She was ready to trot and lope and race at every turn. She always feels like that when she's confident (because her friends are with us). Gwen and Carrie were up for it, so we did way more trotting than ever. It was great.

Such a perfect ride. I forgot EVERYTHING. Even the things I thought I might sort out from up there. The best part is, I can't remember one of them since I've come down. That's part of the beauty of it. So freeing and healing.

Love my girl!

This morning I was awake at 3a. I laid in bed until 4a and finally just got up for the day. By 6a I was missing Gwin and decided to take a ride over to see her. Gwen was at the barn already. She was preparing the horses' morning meals of soaked beet pulp and supplements. She showed me how the horses come in and go into their stalls to eat on their own. So cute.

Then she put them all out to pasture. 
It was so beautiful to see their silhouettes in the sunrise on the field.

What a way to wake up. 

Gwen and I visited and then she headed back up to the house. I brought the horses in after a total of 30 minutes.

I took Gwin to the round pen and worked her at a trot on a lunge line in little circles all around the pen, both ways. Then I rode her bare back awhile, also in the pen. She did great. Lots of leg work, again.

Just as the sun was starting to get hot I turned Gwin back out to her friends and was back home taking my morning shower by 8:30a. 
It was a wonderful start to a potential summer weekend morning ritual. 

Horse Day

This morning Zeek had a lesson with Linda.

He chose PJ over Julio, which was a first. 

He did SO well, again.

I'm so proud of him. 

He was very excited to have the added enjoyment of 

meeting one of the new kittens at the barn. 

After ridding at Linda's, we went home and did some school work.

Then we had lunch and headed out by Gwin.

I worked her on the ground for about 20 minutes. 

Zeek watched and learned some stuff. 

Then he rode bareback for awhile. 

Then it was time for his well earned hour of media.

Of course, he chose to play on his iPad. 

Meanwhile, I rode Gwin bareback a bit.

I worked on desensitizing her with my body.

Then I worked on laying and leaning on her sideways. 

I'm hoping I will build the strength and skill to get on her 

bareback without using a mount. 

This could take me awhile.

After awhile, I saddled her and took her out 

of the round pen without a bit for the first time.

She did SO well. I think better than with the bit.

I think she's a little callused to her bit. 

I rode her around the pastures. 

We trotted a lot, and galloped a little. 

It was great and just what I needed. 

As always. :)

Flying Again

I left Zeek with Sarita and Greg at home, and went riding with Carrie. Was gone 2.5 hours. Rode for an hour and 15 min. It was heavenly. Gwin and I loped. I was finally able to drop down and let go in full trust and confidence in Gwin. We flew. It felt amazing. I can't wait to do it again.

Carrie also showed me all around Gwen's property where we can ride. I had no idea and feel kind of stupid about Mother's Day, now. I so could have gotten a trail ride in.

Oh well, live and learn.

Or just ride and forget about it. ;)

Mothers' Day- No Ride

So it was Mothers' Day yesterday. My family carved out the entire early through late afternoon for me to go riding. It was a great big flop that ended in no riding what-so-ever, thanks to turkey hunting. 


I've always been indifferent since my wonderful husband does not partake, but now it's official: 
I hate hunting seasons!!!

One day, I'll have a trailer so I can make plans and get out of Dodge whenever I want to. 
I can't wait for that day.

Anytime Anywhere

Today, I took Sarita and her friends Ceanna and Almudena to see Gwin. Although Sari does not have any interest in horses, her friends have been excited since we bought her, and were interested in seeing and riding her. Ceanna's Mom, Robin, joined us as well. It was a great time.

The girls loved Gwin. They pet her and told her how beautiful and big she was. It was sweet. Almudena was unable to ride because we couldn't clear permission from her program (she is also an FES) for her to ride. However, Ceanna did ride. She was really nervous. She had never been on a horse before. I remembered how nervous I was the first couple of times I rode Gwin, and I knew just the thing to help calm her nerves...

When ever I saw (and even still sometimes when I see) someone do something amazing on a horse, I feel like I could conquer the world with Gwin. It's been right after I've seen someone do something far scarier than the scariest thing I want to work on with her, that I am able to climb right into the ring and confidently succeed at doing things I was just before afraid to even think about.

I just watched a youtube video yesterday that really inspired me. One thing that woman did was stand on her horses back. So, after Ceanna's Mom told me that Ceanna was getting more and more afraid to ride, I explained what I was going to do and why. And then I did it. I stood on Gwin's back with her saddle on her, raised my hands out to the sides and smiled.

I was so proud of Gwin, and so grateful that our growing connection allowed for us to experience this feat together. When I think of where we began, with her bolting forward when I even put my knee gently against her side to begin desensitizing her because she wouldn't let me ride her bare. And now this, with no prep work. Just my energy of confidence and trust in her, and her capacity to always take such good care of me. It was good.

Ceanna rode. I walked Gwin for her. For a moment Ceanna and I were talking, and Gwin bent her head down to grab some grass as she walked. When she did this, her reigns slid down her neck and under her left hoof. As she quickly drew her head back up to return to the ride, the caught reign pulled hard on her jaw unexpectedly. She lifted her head and braced her hind-quarters in hopes to release the pressure. This of course only made it worse for her. All within seconds the incident had run it's corse, the reign came free from under the hoof, Gwin was back to calm, and Ceanna was shook but still proudly atop the saddle. It was quite unusual, but a good reminder that anything can happen at anytime, and it's a good thing we have a solid waver signed by anyone who rides with us.

After over an hour together, a friend came to pick up Sarita and Almu to go to the mall, and Robin took Ceanna home with her. Zeek and I played with Gwin a little and then turned her out to pasture for an hour while we went home for lunch.

When we got there Greg asked to take Zeek into town for lunch and errands. I, of course, ate and returned to Gwin on my own.

We did SO much work together, then. I did a bunch of familiar ground work with her. Then I decided to try to lunge her without the lead, using my short stick with no string. I felt I might be able to try to ask her to move with less drama and "alpha"-drive, yet still ask her in a way that she would respond to with a smaller helping tool.

It worked wonderfully. She spit around and even kicked up a couple times for me. But she was never hateful, and I could tell the energy between us stayed clean and solid. She never got stoic or shut me out. We worked a lot on transitions and her turning in to face me on command. I had to use the lead rope in the end to make that training more effective.

After all of that good stuff I rode her bare for a long time in the ring. I carried my short stick, which I knew she could see, but I never used it. She was far more respectful and responsive. Enough so that we were able to make leaps and bounds with our leg reigning work. It felt great.

Finally, I cooled her off and reunited her with her friends. I put them to pasture together, cleaned up the piles, added hay to their slow feed bags and headed home. It was fantastic!

I realized today that it really doesn't matter when or where or how we get together. As long as we get together. I feel SO good with her and after having been with her. 
Anytime, anywhere. 

My First Baby

Tonight, I worked with Gwin, late. I had to be with her. After today, and Bid Me, and just the smell of horses on the warm breeze with my windows down.

She's so snuggly and lovable. I really loved the way she came to me when I showed up. From all the way on the other end of the lot. I could tell she wanted me all on her own. Finally.

I tried to work with her, but I'm a big old push over mama with my first baby, and I don't know how to ask her for anything. I know what I don't want. I don't know how to find a happy medium between not getting anything out of her and not turning our relationship into something else. Something I've seen with other people and their horses. Something I am not investing in all of this into so I can downgrade our connection. No way. I'm a wimp. I know it.

So, Gwen came out. I met her husband Jack for the first time. Not what I expected at all. He's such a nice, social, and soft spoken guy. Gwen worked with Gwin for me. She used the stick and rope on the ground to get Gwin to go around the round pen for her. Gwin did NOT like being told what to do. She was wildly sassy, the first time I've EVER seen ANYTHING like that from her. She jumped and turned and kicked and bucked and ran. Only a bit, here and there. But still. For a such a low key, peaceful, slow, content, horse who I have NEVER seen lift her two back legs off the ground no matter how scared, unhappy, or pushed she has been... I was shocked.

For observations sake: Gwin was not mad. She did not put her ears back. She did not try to hurt anyone. She wasn't even "scared".  She was confused and she did not like getting by Gwen after she pulled her in only to throw the stick and string down right next to her to drive her back out. It was not what I wanted. But it was good for me to see. Good to see how easily startled Gwin was when Gwen was in the pen with her. And good to see how grateful, loving, and overtly obedient she was with me as soon as Gwen left the pen. I'm not there yet. I couldn't do it that way myself. I'm not sure that with a horse like Gwin, I'll ever be there.

I'm thinking about attending the clinic at Linda's over Memorial weekend. Just as an auditor without my horse. I'm really searching for an answer. I know I'm lost and super green. I don't want to move forward until I find the way I feel right about to do it. Maybe I'll learn somethings that will help at the clinic. ???

We'll see. 

Ridding Lesson

This morning, Zeek had a riding lesson with Linda. He chose to ride Julio. He loves him. 

I loved my time with Linda, again. Zeek did SO well. He rode patterns on his own, a lot. I was so proud of him. He was proud too.
He still wants nothing to do with catching, grooming, preparing, untacking, or turning out a horse. Maybe he's too young still. ??? He sure loves to ride, though.

I spent some time with Bid Me again. Not sure if I've ever written about him. He's a horse that Linda owns. 28 years old, one eye missing, good eye half bad, matted and un-groomed (probably unsafe to stand next to), in his own corral area because he is not safe with other horses- obviously because of his sight.

I noticed him when we board Gwin there. He was the "crazy" horse who was always bucking into his fencing and metal door, biting and the air to warn the horses in the corral next to him.

One day I was alone, and I decided to go down and get a look at him. Within the first 30 seconds of standing in front of him he brought me to tears, not out of sadness or pity, and he's pulled my heart out ever since. From then I've spent quiet time talking to him, praying over him, singing, and now scratching his face, neck and ears during our visits. I love that horse. Honestly, I want him. If I had the set up at home, I'd ask Linda for him.

But I don't, and so I will let his heart, spirit and nature continue to speak to me and make me feel full and real and closer to God from his little corral at Linda's.
What is it about horses?

Finally, Some Horse Time

Worked on some new-to-me Parelli ground work material today. Not sure how I did, but I'm working. I know that she knows that I sure don't know what I'm doing 75% of the time with her. Like Linda says, she loves me but she doesn't respect me. 

It's a good things she's nice.
I was tempted right up onto her bare-back with a 12 foot lead looped and tied into a second loop. We did some good connection work with leg reigning again. My absolute favorite!

And again, when I left there, and through the afternoon and evening, I was the happiest human alive. So refreshed, revived, positive, joyful, and certain. It's crazy.

I do love that girl. 

Pasture Day

Today, Zeek and I went to visit Gwin. It was so beautiful out. Blue sky, big white puffy clouds, super green grass...

Gwin and the other two horses were out grazing in the front pasture. I decided to just lay in the grass under the sun with my book and read next to them. It was a great way to spend an hour of our afternoon.

When the big storm clouds started rolling in, I packed up, gave Gwin an apple, snuggled her and Zeek and I headed out.

Perfect. 

Apple & Gwin

The last few days and nights have been Gwin's first, alone. Monty and Angel are on a trail riding trip with Carrie and Gwen. I know it was kind of hard on her, but she wasn't as stressed as I worried she might be.
We visited her a couple of times a day. It was hard to leave her for the night. I know she was nervous.

We did take the opportunity to introduce her to Apple, since there were no other horses there and Apple has never been close enough to a horse to see what she would do.

The first day, they checked each other out. I don't know if it is Gwin's size or if they had a language, but Apple caught on really quickly that she needs to be cautious around Gwin. She was not scared. She just crouched down into a super submissive, low-to-the-ground position if she was in her "bubble" at all.

Gwin followed Apple around. To sniff her? To play with her? To scare her? I don't know. She didn't put her ears back at all, so I think it was friendly. Apple, of course, did NOT know what to do with any of it.

The second day, Apple was more interested in the surroundings than Gwin. She did agree, reluctantly, to sit next to her while she was grazing for a photo.

Yesterday, Greg joined us to visit Gwin. We did not take Apple this time. Zeek rode Gwin in the round pen. Then Greg took him home and I rode Gwin across the street to the trails. She was VERY hesitant to leave "home" without a partner horse to trail with. I expected it, though.

I have been watching Parelli's training series, and I learned that with Gwin's personality it is best to be patient, gently encouraging, and highly rewarding at any success. So this was the new approach I took rather than insisting, prodding, demanding, being stubborn back... It worked much better. I also focussed inside and out on where we were heading.

Our biggest success came when I started praying over her. I prayed for her to have peace and confidence. I prayed that she would ride knowing that she was covered by God's favor carrying His Child on her back. It was as if she forgot we were alone. She was comfortable, bold, and didn't dead stop anymore at new openings or forks in the path. She even quickened her step and asked to trot a bit the way she does when we ride with others.

I was very proud of her. She was pleased to return home, and sorry to see that her friends weren't back from their trip yet.