My First Baby

Tonight, I worked with Gwin, late. I had to be with her. After today, and Bid Me, and just the smell of horses on the warm breeze with my windows down.

She's so snuggly and lovable. I really loved the way she came to me when I showed up. From all the way on the other end of the lot. I could tell she wanted me all on her own. Finally.

I tried to work with her, but I'm a big old push over mama with my first baby, and I don't know how to ask her for anything. I know what I don't want. I don't know how to find a happy medium between not getting anything out of her and not turning our relationship into something else. Something I've seen with other people and their horses. Something I am not investing in all of this into so I can downgrade our connection. No way. I'm a wimp. I know it.

So, Gwen came out. I met her husband Jack for the first time. Not what I expected at all. He's such a nice, social, and soft spoken guy. Gwen worked with Gwin for me. She used the stick and rope on the ground to get Gwin to go around the round pen for her. Gwin did NOT like being told what to do. She was wildly sassy, the first time I've EVER seen ANYTHING like that from her. She jumped and turned and kicked and bucked and ran. Only a bit, here and there. But still. For a such a low key, peaceful, slow, content, horse who I have NEVER seen lift her two back legs off the ground no matter how scared, unhappy, or pushed she has been... I was shocked.

For observations sake: Gwin was not mad. She did not put her ears back. She did not try to hurt anyone. She wasn't even "scared".  She was confused and she did not like getting by Gwen after she pulled her in only to throw the stick and string down right next to her to drive her back out. It was not what I wanted. But it was good for me to see. Good to see how easily startled Gwin was when Gwen was in the pen with her. And good to see how grateful, loving, and overtly obedient she was with me as soon as Gwen left the pen. I'm not there yet. I couldn't do it that way myself. I'm not sure that with a horse like Gwin, I'll ever be there.

I'm thinking about attending the clinic at Linda's over Memorial weekend. Just as an auditor without my horse. I'm really searching for an answer. I know I'm lost and super green. I don't want to move forward until I find the way I feel right about to do it. Maybe I'll learn somethings that will help at the clinic. ???

We'll see.